For a long time, I thought good communication in a romantic relationship meant getting everything off your chest. But there was only one problem with that logic. That might mean never shutting up. Over the years and after several failed relationships, I evolved to understand that a successful romantic relationship is based on effective communication skills and a few ground rules.
Love is a pretty confusing mirage, but every relationship has the potential to bloom into something beautiful. What all healthy relationships have in common are clearly defined boundaries and calibrated expectations. Though many believe that boundaries are restrictive, they establish who owns and maintains the ambiguous relationship space — along with the rules that apply. Boundaries give more freedom and occasionally allow for the lines to be crossed through mutual understanding. When boundaries are violated, then trust will likely be broken.
Unlike the platonic type, a romantic relationship is distinctly critical and more sensitive. Our romantic partners inhabit each other’s very personal and intimate space, including emotional and sexual. Therefore, sustaining a romantic relationship takes more work than a platonic one. With that said, here are seven lessons I learned through my own relationship wins and failures.
- Compromise is crucial to relationships: While there is a complexity to compromising, it is important to recognize it’s all about creating a healthy balance. Compromise and sacrifices in a relationship are necessary to make it work.
- Say “I Love you”: While action does speak louder than words, take a moment every now and then to verbalize your feelings. A simple yet heartfelt “I love you” goes a long way.
- Accept that no one is perfect: Remember that the perfect person does not exist. Everyone has flaws, and it is human to make mistakes, so forgive each other.
- It’s healthy to argue but never go to bed angry: If honesty is important, there are bound to be disagreements. Deal with issues at the moment. Going to bed upset is not acceptable. Offer an olive branch, even if hugging is the last thing on the mind. Ego and pride have no place in a relationship.
- Positive criticism, please: Partners are supposed to help make you better. But while constructive criticism is important, who can survive on feeling judged all the time? Don’t sweat the small stuff; let everything but the important issues go.
- Never take each other for granted: Show appreciation and give compliments, even for the everyday stuff. Build each other up by constantly encouraging and supporting the little acts of love.
- Don’t pretend to be someone else: Be your authentic self, and voice it if it is important to you. Share more than you would with anyone else, from your likes and dislikes to your dreams and fears and even your achievements and mistakes.
What’s the best relationship advice you’ve ever received?
