Here’s how to set boundaries in three easy steps and learn why it’s important to your mental health and well-being.
Do you find yourself leaning more towards people-pleasing than standing in the full expression of yourself? Do you constantly take responsibility for others’ feelings and problems? Or does your life feel like it’s out of control?
Establishing good boundaries is essential to achieving personal joy and professional success. Not to mention, is a crucial aspect of self-care. The term “boundary” to some may seem limited. But good boundaries give you the freedom to show up more authentically. According to the authors of Boundaries: When To Say Yes, How To Say No To Take Control Of Your Life, a boundary is a personal property line that marks those things for which we are responsible.” Boundaries provide healthy rules for navigating situations and relationships, avoiding potential toxic environments, and safeguarding your time, energy, and purpose. Most importantly, it’s about showing love and kindness to yourself.
Unfortunately, setting and sustaining boundaries is a skill that many need to learn. So regardless of who you are, here’s a three-step strategy to set and sustain better boundaries.
How to set boundaries in 3 steps
Understand your worth
Boundaries are a measure of knowing your value — both others’ treatment of you and your self-respect. The healthier your self-respect, the more defined your boundaries will be. You are your own most vital advocate. So if you have difficulty setting boundaries, especially due to fear and guilt, then there is a need to strengthen your self-worth. Determining you are worthy means acknowledging and treating yourself in a respectful manner.
Identify your non-negotiables
Though setting well-defined boundaries will at first be by trial and error, you can’t set good boundaries if you are not certain of where you stand. Establishing healthy boundaries means knowing what’s important to you. Because the truth is, you can’t have it all. Every decision is a tradeoff. So when you fail to enforce your boundaries you dissolve them and they become preferences.
Be clear and concise
Manage others’ expectations by setting defined and realistic ground rules. Others will not always be willing to respect your boundaries, so you have to clearly and honestly communicate and enforce them. This means leaving no uncertainty about what behaviors by others will not be tolerated. Learn when to say yes and know how to say “no” to unreasonable demands and not allow others to blur the lines of your boundaries.
Setting boundaries is one thing. Enforcing them so they can be respected, is another.
How do you set boundaries and reinforce them to support your well-being?
