Sheryl Sandberg author of the best-selling book “Lean In: Women, Work and the Will to Lead” launched the public service campaign to ban the schoolyard word, “bossy”. Bossy defined as, a way to inspire girls to pursue leadership roles.
Yes, I agree that a deficit of confidence does hinder women’s advancement…And yes it does develop from the early years. However, I find the bigger problem is that women first need to win the battle of the mirror — the assault on our own body image and appearance.
As women, we struggle with our self-image which is a detriment to our success, since success correlates with confidence and competence. More is demanded of women, we are expected to take on a male-dominated world where looks are as important for a woman’s advancement as competence. We also have to be the caregiver, and confidently rise in leadership as we maintain the standards of beauty that society dictates.
Women are expected to succeed confidently while maintaining the elusive level of physical beauty. Unlike men whose appearance is less proportionate to their competence. The pressures of being thinner, curvier, taller, lighter in complexion, longer or straighter hair ultimately results in eroding the very confidence we are expected to exude.
It is proven that a vast majority of women’s confidence is affected by their satisfaction or dissatisfaction with their appearance. As a woman whose body over the years underwent a kaleidoscope of changes — childbirth, weight gain, blemishes, aging, and the stress of life, society’s definition of physical beauty excludes me and women like me.
With physical appearance being a confidence booster, where does that leave room for women to celebrate their imperfectly unique beauty?
In the words of Marie Denee of The Curvy Fashionista, “how does one learn to love themself in a space so hard to navigate when it comes to building confidence, creating and fostering self-love, and challenge the norms?”
While I may be smart, ambitious, and entrepreneurial in spirit, it’s been a journey. There are days when I don’t feel desirable which lets in self-doubt that erodes confidence and affects both my personal and professional psyche.
So while the “ban on bossy” is great. It is not until we challenge society’s parameters of ideal physical beauty, will the vast majority of women overcome the hurdle to succeed and lead. Or fall prey to survival of the prettiest.
How are you challenging society’s parameters of physical beauty?
